It is troubling to me that so many people do not understand the danger of allowing themselves to daydream their relational issues. I have had people report that they can lose track of time just sitting in their living room "processing" what went wrong in their marriage. Thinking too much can bring a state of mind that is negative. If not checked, a person can find themselves in a state of depression or anxiety, long after the relationship is over. You may have heard me talk about emotional anchors. That is, the mind has an emotional anchor (memory) connected to the images of the past. Under the right conditions a person can relive to some extent the emotions of the past, bring them to the present moment, and re-experience emotions from a time long gone. There are those cases that I have had that a man or woman is still in a severe state of depression over the failure of a marriage that ended years earlier. Even worse is that their recurring recollections maintain their anger levels to such a high level that any contact with the partner re-ignites heated exchanges. Be careful of what you allow yourself to ruminate!
